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Grandma is the eldest daughter of the Lam family. She is 79 years old on 1st November. Grandma used to be the most cheerful person in the family. She has every reason to since she has seven independent and reliable children as well as five supporting grandchildren who care for her and will be by her side no matter what happen.

Unfortunately, grandma suffered from Alzheimer. She forgot almost everything from the simplest things like her car keys and house keys to the looks and names of her relatives. This saddens everyone in the family. She used to mistaken me to my ‘same-age’ cousin. White hair grew along her old age like white flakes of snow. She is still the same cheerful person like I have known ten y ears ago but she seems to be more sensitive nowadays.

I can still remember how happy she was when she told us about her childhood stories. Japanese Airplanes flying around and the bombings plus the fighting, but grandma, being a tough and brave girl was never afraid of all these. While others including her parents scampered around, hiding in dirty grounds, grandma preferred to hide under the bed and sometimes, she would even join in the fun! She would stand under the blaring planes and watch the bombs being let down.

Cooking, washing clothes and ironing had been her daily routine. While other young children went to school to study or outside playing, she would be left out in the house doing all the house work. Her mother was a vivid mahjong player and never left the table to help with the chores, leaving poor young grandma to manage them. Her father worked until late at night so he never knew all this was happening. She married at a young age and born eight healthy children. She was really sad and depressed when her eldest child leaves the world in an accident. She would never forget the day he dies. She did most of the housework at home. She told me how useless her husband was. Grandpa (as she told me) was a gambler. She used to drag him back from the gambling station. Grandma is the disciplinarian of the family. My uncles and aunts were really scared of her and the sight of the can made them run away like an innocent child. Somehow, grandma suffered through her teen years and was now enjoying her old life.

During my kindergarten and primary school years, I always spent my ‘after school’ time with grandma. Dad and Mum were working then so I have no choice but to follow grandma back home. Back then, I was really frightened with grandma. Grandma has a fierce face and even now she still does. Her glaring eyes can make one feels sick and unhappy. But when grandma stifles laughter or even a simple smile, she looks elegant and pretty, and I feel really comfortable to be with her. I always watch out for the red Kancil car grandma drives and smile happily when I saw one.

A visit to grandma house is always satisfying. Let’s say you want an ice cream, chocolates or sweets, grandma will always have some prepared. Although they are not expensive Ferrero Rosell (is this the right spelling) or Beryls and Cadbury …I still feel the warmth and happiness in it.

Chinese New Year will never be the same without grandma, nagging around, advising us not to eat too much oily foods and sweets, but most of the time, we will ignore her. Sorry, grandma! But what is the fun in the festive season if we don’t enjoy the food served? Although granny prepared porridge and rice, most of the time, we would say we are full and not in the mood to eat them. Thinking back, I felt sorry for grandma. Five years ago, grand ma would wake up as early as seven to prepare a sumptuous meal for everyone but this year onward, she would not be able to do so.

These days, grandma talks less, eat less and sleep less. She is growing thinner and also, her vision blurred. She can’t read that clearly anymore, not even English and Malay. Whenever I see her, I saw plainness in her eyes. I am like a nobody to her. She can’t pronounce or remember my name, except when she was given clues. She no longer can remember what she eats this morning or who took her out yesterday.
I pray and hope that grandma will remain with me until my working days as I want to bring her out to eat and shop in the best restaurant as well as the most renowned shopping complex. I want to buy for her the Ogawa massage chair that she dreamed to have one day. I wish to treat her a few thousand ringgits every month and most of all, I want to bring her and travel the whole world. I want her to be happy until the day she close her eyes.

A message to my beloved grandma:
“You motivate me. You inspire me. You are an angel. “–Arrica Lee